Episode 14

I just noticed that the opening theme depicts Sailor Moon, Mars, and Mercury. Was it always just these 3, or is it because these are the only 3 we've met so far? Too lazy to investigate.

New bad is Nephrite. Zosite shows up; he's got long blonde hair. He taunts Nephrite. They're all jerks to each other, no surprises here.

This episode we've got:

Tennis

The new big bad shows up in a fancy red sports car. Everyone thinks he's handsome; I don't see it. He literally jumps over the fence to the court. He starts giving tennis advice to TennisGirl and playing tennis with her. He hits the ball so hard it hurts her hand. He introduces himself as an "eccentric coach", because "evil dude out to suck you of all your life force" would be suspicious. One of his youma possesses her racket. 

When she touches the racket, it controls her. Her gameplay gets sort of scary. The ball makes a dent in the pavement. EvilDude disappears. TennisGirl basically commits murder on the Mens' Tennis Team. 

Meanwhile, Luna consults with an arcade computer that talks to her. 

Pre-LOLCat

TennisGirl actually destroys a girl's racket as they play and acts like a bitch. Sailor Moon's Best Friend, whose name I don't remember, who is a longtime childhood friend of TennisGirl, looks on concerned. I'll refer to her as SM's BFF(Best Friend Forver). She talks about this with Usagi  and flashes back to all her memories of  playing together with TennisGirl growing up and how she basically got shut down/ignored today. 

Usagi has a bad feeling about it, for once. TennisGirl looks like she's out to murder people with her balls. Some dudes she was playing with run the fuck away. SM's BFF tries to intervene, but TennisGirl acts all crazy because possessed. The Youma pops out. Usagi sneaks behind a building to transform. This all would've been easier if they lived in the age of cell phones; calling for backup and all.

Sailor Moon gets encased in a very giant tennis ball. 

Sailor Moon is the circled object.

Also, this.

Tuxedo Mask shows up to save her useless ass. They fight together (mostly she's useless) and she thinks it's romantic. He's injured because she is USELESS. She tries to rush to him and he's like finish off the bad guy first you idiot. Moon Tiara finishes off the youma. Mercury and Mars show up late to the bad guy-offing party. Tuxedo Mask disappears. 

Episode 13: Girl Power! The End of Jaedite

We open up with Queen Beryl waving her hands around her black crystal ball, lecturing Jaedite about his failures. He seems about as annoyed as a dude home from college being told by his mom to clean up his room.

Maybe cleaning your room isn't so bad...

That seems a bit harsh. But he has failed for the past 12 episodes. Unclear why he tried to continue on his way with his plots or why he didn't stand guard to make sure they weren't destroyed. I guess plot development.

Usagi is staring out the window identifying constellations, including 2 that look like the dudes she has crushes on (arcade dude & tuxedo mask). Because of course she is.

She theorizes that they are the same dude. She's not very good at coming up with theories.

Jaedite appears out of the sky. He tells them to come to the airport the next day, Runway F, else he'll set the city on fire.

The girls discuss what to do.  Rae wants to go, Ami is concerned it's a trap, Usagi is useless and scared. The cops think it's a prank because they don't believe in magic. They're going to assign police officers to go. Kids at school speculate with the amount of proper seriousness that you can expect from middle school kids.  Usagi says that if people have time to go out for fun (and to watch), they should stay at home studying instead. Her teacher is worried she's sick.

"Part of your charm is how you don't normally say serious things. If anything, I like girls with unique personalities," says video store dude. I can't say I actually see her charm. This must be why I don't have a boyfriend.

"Guys like that are just losers," says Tuxedo Mask's human form I forgot his name. Usagi starts crying, because it's Usagi.

The girls get to the subway system and it's not running...until the car mysteriously opens. OBVIOUSLY A TRAP. But Rae is into danger it seems and so we're aboard the magic train. Possessed police attack them. Ami transforms and Rae is like sure I guess I'll do it too. Usagi is last.

Mercury uses her technology to determine that these police offers are made of clay. So Mars sets them on fire. Jaedite is all "BOOM I know your human forms."  Sailor Moon & Mars take a break from fighting to argue about who is prettier. Jaedite doesn't strike because I dunno.

He takes control of a plane and sends it at them. This would not have aired in the U.S. in a post-9/11 era.
Mars wants to set them on fire, but Luna points out the fiscal implications. Mercury suggests they run.  Jaedite gets rose'd by Tuxedo Mask.  Yeah I'm not sure how Sailor Moon failed to put it together. He looks the same except he's in a tuxedo and wearing a really weak mask. I totally had a better one when I went to that Masquerade Ball (see, Episode 12).

Jaedite seems to drown Tuxedo Mask, a rose floats in the water. Jaedite makes some sexist powers, the girls make some feminist remarks, the planes start trying to run them over.

Mercury bubble sprays, Sailor Moon is the decoy. Mars uses the paper attack and applies it to his back and now the planes run after him. Magic Tiara time after some encouraging words of girl power. Jaedite dodges and then...gets run over by a plane I think.

He shows up in front of Queen Beryl. He tries to tell her that he knows the identities of the Sailor Scouts, but she puts him into eternal sleep instead. Appoints a dude with long purple hair as her next minion.

Sailor Moon cries, worrying that Tuxedo Mask is dead. They stare out at the water. He shows up all yeah whatever I'm fine. They ask him who he is; he prefers the mysteriousness thing. He tells them to value their friendship and skates on out.

Episode 12

The big trap this week: A Romantic Cruise

It seems like playing on people's romance is a common theme here. Whatever mythology of "energy" is at work here, there certainly is a belief that love underlies a lot of what drives people. Possibly true. Usagi is an annoying extreme example.

Usagi is sooo down to try to win a raffle prize of going on the cruise. She doesn't win; consolation prize: tissues. Heh.

"We don't have time to waste on this kind of stuff!" Rei says. Before entering the raffle. She then does some praying stuff...and wins.

"You are such a hypocrite," Usagi says. Word.

Rei wants to take Ami. Usagi is pissed Rei won't take her. These are middle school dynamics I can remember.

And Usagi uses her disguise pen to sneak onto the cruise because of course she'd abuse tools given to her to fight evil for her own self-gain.

Ruh roh. Ship is actually a shipwrecked ship, but nobody realizes because evil magic.

Lots of couples. Sort of confused by how fucking Caucasian everybody in Toyko is.  The girls lament that it's basically couples. I feel ya, girls. I went to a Masquerade Ball in Dec 2012 and let me tell you: couples and groups of girls. Turns out single dudes don't go on Romantic Cruises or Masquerade Balls. Go figure.

No engines are going in the engine room, yet the boat is moving full speed ahead, Luna observes. Usagi tells her she worries too much. Oh come on, it's Episode 12. Haven't we learned by now that Luna is always right? Usagi thinks the evil dude is really handsome; obviously. She tries to hit on him; obviously.

Rei suggests that couples will break up on the ship and then they should get those single dudes. Ami wishes she stayed home and studied instead. Instead of being on an evil ship? Yeah probably. Not the best prowling spot.

The Youma has her eyes on the evil dude as well.

"If I can't find a boyfriend, I'll be eating all I want." Rei declares. I get that.

Showtime. This is never a good thing on this show. I'm surprised any of them ever watch shows anymore. Rei and Ami catch on. Too bad they're in the room with the evil disco ball. Except they don't faint like everybody else. Oh, because they only stole the energy of love, and these girls aren't in love. Single life has its perks!

I think it's unfortunate that Mercury's Bubble Spray seems to do nothing but obscure vision. I mean that's useful and all, but doesn't really do active damage, you know?

Weekly evil destroyed by teamwork. Handsome blonde evil dude, Jadeite, appears. Then disappears before the fight. Because plot. Oh because Queen Beryl calls him. She's pissed he let Thetis(weekly bad) die.

Ship is now, um, a wreck. Good thing the Coast Guard is conveniently on its way!

Rei & Usagi bicker. Ami studies.